How to Aggravate Top Bloggers So They’ll Never Help You

Carol Tice

businessman with megaphoneIf you’ve got a blog, you’ve probably wondered how you could get a big blogger to notice and share your posts. That would probably get you a ton of sweet new readers, eh?

The only problem is, every blogger in the world has now figured that out. Which means top bloggers are getting umpty-million reach-outs hourly from newbie bloggers asking for help.

I consider myself the tiniest micro-celebrity possible in the world of blogging, and I can report I am getting dozens of these requests every week. Can’t even imagine how many hits the mega-successful bloggers get!

And if you blow that first interaction with a blogger, you’re probably not going to end up getting their help.

There’s a right way (or three) to connect with big bloggers and enlist their aid in promoting your blog…but if my experience is any indication, most bloggers are getting this wrong. And once you’ve been a pest, it’s unlikely that blogger is ever going to help you out in future.

Let me outline some of the common mistakes new bloggers are making in trying to promote their posts to popular bloggers. Then we’ll talk about how to avoid these blunders:

Make your first contact an ‘ask’

It never ceases to impress me how many bloggers introduce themselves by asking me to do something for them. Basically, it’s “Hello, stranger! Please do me a favor.”

I don’t know how you feel about that, but I think it’s just rude. I mean, would you do that at an in-person networking event, walk up to a stranger and ask them to do stuff for you? I don’t think so.

And you should never do anything on email or in social media you wouldn’t do in person.

Here’s an example of this I recently got on Facebook from a brand-new blogger who proudly announced he’d just finally gotten his blog live. He pointed me to a post he’d written on a similar topic to one of my recent posts, and then concluded with:

If you agree with the sentiments, and I know you do already, I'd appreciate any plug on any format!

To clear up any confusion, I am not part of your PR team. I don’t plug anything for anybody (not for free, anyway). I don’t share other peoples’ posts because they ask me to.

I share posts because I think they have great, fresh, useful information we haven’t already seen 100 times before elsewhere, and I think my social-media audience would benefit from reading it. Period.

My sense from talking to my own blogging mentors is that other big bloggers do the same.

Be a total stranger with a blog mess

Vast majority of the time, if I do go check out the post I’ve been asked to flog, I don’t see any new information.

I see a lot of long, rambling screeds about the writer and their life, sloppy blog post that aren’t scannable, recycled ideas, and cluttered sites where the font is tiny and I can’t even make myself read through to the end. To be brutally honest.

If you’re going to take the time to connect with big bloggers, first make sure your blog post is ready for prime time.

Propose to do me a ‘favor’

When you’re gushing about how you’re a big fan and regular follower of a top blogger, it’s usually good if you know something about how they operate.

The blogger above followed up with an offer to ‘help you out’ by writing me a free guest post — thereby revealing he doesn’t know I pay for guest posts that go through a rigorous and time-consuming editorial process.

And only take high-quality, useful-info-packed, success-story type guest posts, not free posts from nakedly link-seeking people.

Also, I think we all know who this ‘favor’ really benefits, and it’s not me.

Expect quid pro quo

I recently got a tweet that said roughly this:

“I tweeted your post today — and now you should tweet that my new blog post [LINK].”

Thing to know: Most blog-based business owners got out of the rat race because they don’t like having a boss and being told what to do. That goes double for being told what to do by people we don’t even know.

The fact that you’ve shared my post doesn’t entitle you to anything. You should share it if it was useful to you and your social-media followers, and I’m thrilled you did share it. But there is no automatic share-back obligation.

As I said above, I’ll share it if it’s awesome content my social-media peeps would enjoy…and if you don’t order me to do so. Really rankles.

Ask a random question

As I’ve noted before, many writers have decided that rather than begging for a retweet of their own post, their ticket to A-List bloggers sharing their post is to survey them via email and do a roundup post the blogger will be included in.

If you’re going to go the survey-compilation route, at least avoid peppering me with 10-15 questions I’m supposed to type answers to on email, and ask a single question tailor-made to intrigue me — some pet topic I’ve just got to weigh in on.

More often, I get a random question (or 10) that I can’t relate to.

For instance, recently I got this one:

“What is your best tip for content marketers?”

The thing is, I don’t consider myself one.

I don’t relate to the word “content.” I write articles. I think of myself as publishing an online magazine for freelance writers.

Search my blog for the phrase “content marketer” and you wouldn’t find it twice in the 600+ posts on here. I don’t have a category tag for “content marketing.”

I just couldn’t think of what to say about this question, so I passed.

Ask rude personal questions

Do you know anyone who enjoys being asked personal questions by people they don’t really know? Me neither.

Recently, I got an email asking me to disclose how many people had registered for one of my courses. How this information is even useful for another blogger is beyond me.

But hey, thanks for being nosy! I totally want to hang out with you now.

I’ve also gotten requests to share how much money my blog makes, post my tax form, explain my profit margins…you name it.

I feel like I’ve been pretty forthcoming in what I earned as a freelancer and how this blog makes money. If I’m going to share financial stuff, it won’t be privately to one stranger, but publicly for all my blog readers. So why do you ask?

Send me an email to ask for a tweet

This is one I get more and more now, and I just don’t get it.

Bloggers email me to say, “Wanted you to know, I just posted this new blog post [HEADLINE]. I’d appreciate any tweets or other social media shares!”

Now I have to

  1. click that headline in my email
  2. go over to the post (if the link’s not broken)
  3. read it (if I have time)
  4. decide if it’s awesome (usually not)
  5. hunt for social-media buttons (which are often hidden or missing)
  6. if we get to the end of this whole rainbow, maybe share it.

If you want a tweet, target your headline to me on Twitter, like this: “@TiceWrites – Your readers might enjoy [headline]: [LINK].”

If that headline’s amazing, I might just retweet it on that basis alone. I know this targeting process works because I’ve done it myself. When done right, the result looks like this:

Darren Rowse RTs me-8B

Give me a short deadline

Big thing to know about successful bloggers — we are busy at a level the rest of the world probably can’t even imagine.

Like, wish I had more time to do fun things like pee or wash my hair kind of busy.

So when you send me an interview request and tell me we’d need to talk in the next 48 hours — as one blogger asked me earlier this week — it’s an automatic ‘no.’

How to connect

As you can see, there are plenty of ways to annoy top bloggers and fail to get their help promoting your blog.

But despite the increased popularity of targeting top bloggers and asking for assistance, it’s not impossible to get top bloggers to share your stuff. It’s actually simple.

I end up sharing posts by people I’ve gotten to know, at least a little. I have a sense that the quality of what they write is good, and that even if I don’t have time to fully read the post right now, I can trust that my folks will find their post useful.

These are people I follow myself, or they’ve commented on my blog, or been part of my Link Parties.

I’ve seen them sharing and commenting on my Twitter or Facebook posts, or we’ve talked in a LinkedIn group. I have some context for that person and a sense that they at least know what I do, if not me.

And when I go to their post, it’s something fascinating, fresh, and relevant to my audience. I share that every time.

How have you connected with other bloggers? Share your success tips on the comments.


  1. Williesha

    I really wish I had written down exactly how I ended up finding folks like you, Linda and Sophie. It was probably a combination of Google, social media, blog commenting and boldness LOL. But I guess that’s what made everything work is that it was natural. Looking back, bloggers have described their “system” of getting to know influencers, and I have inadvertently followed it.

    I know I write well, and that helped me get an in, but really everything that has happened is because I developed a genuine relationship with people without expecting anything in return. Yes, it’s led to a lot of really great exposure, but when you’re out there flying solo, relationship is everything.

    What a better world this would be online if everyone listened to this:
    “You should never do anything on email or in social media you wouldn’t do in person.”

    • Carol Tice

      Right on, Willi.

      You know, I think I accidentally did this right with a lot of my mentors, too. It didn’t OCCUR to me to ask them to promote my stuff. I just wanted to learn from them.

      What really got me in the door with big bloggers was writing great headlines for my blog posts — people like Jon Morrow and Mary Jaksch seeing my blog-post headlines on Twitter and deciding to get acquainted. It was way down the line before I targeted a tweet to a thought leader — and by then I’d been commenting on their blog a while, and we had online friends in common. It was far from out of the blue.

  2. Kevin Carlton


    I’ll never EVER share other people’s stuff just to do them a favour.

    If you start doing that then you start sharing junk. And that makes you look like a complete idiot.

    So, whenever I send a share request to an influencer, I always ask myself this:

    ‘Is this something that person and their audience will find relevant, valuable and useful? Is my content something that person would be happy to be associated with?’

    If the answer’s NO then I don’t send.

    However, that doesn’t mean to say I’m so great and do everything right.

    I’ll openly admit to everyone else that I’m one of those people who has sent you an email share request.

    I guess this might have been OK in the past when perhaps you got a trickle of good-quality ones. But if you’re now receiving loads more of these then I can well imagine how it gets on your nerves.

    • Carol Tice

      That’s an interesting approach! Bet that’s refreshing for many of the people who get that reach-out.

      And yeah, that’s sort of why I wrote this — people will need to up their game now because targeting top bloggers has become super-commonplace now.

      • Kevin Carlton

        Yeah, Carol, by and large people respond well when I reach out.

        However, it’s the one thing I hate doing whenever I publish a blog post.

        If you’ve got something worthwhile to offer then it’s a total waste if you don’t get the word out and ask people to share it.

        But, at the same time, you know these people are very busy. And the last thing you wanna do is be a pest or burden to them.

        And one final thing – if a top blogger doesn’t respond to your request NEVER EVER send a follow-up reminder. Just move on and accept that your request didn’t tickle their fancy. Unless, of course, you really want to wind them up.

        • Carol Tice

          Yeah, good tip there! Honestly. Don’t nag.

  3. Nida

    These are common approaches, even in guest blogging. I still get clients approaching me asking to get their guest blogs published on websites (where they have no contacts) and expecting me to get it done in 24 hours. What people have not realized (yet) is that interactions online mimic interactions in real life. If you wouldn’t go up to a stranger and ask them for a favor, you shouldn’t be doing that to a blogger either.

    • Carol Tice

      Hi Nida — like your new avatar!

      The whole world where clients want you to leverage your contacts to place THEIR guest posts is another giant kettle of fish. I’ve been asked, and tried it with one client, and decided it wasn’t for me. It’s increasingly hard to get a ‘yes’ and I found the hourly rate for working those projects would never pencil out.

    • Kostas

      Well said Nida! People who take that sort of approach give those of us who approach guest blogging the right way a bit of a bad name. It is well worth spending time to build up a network of contacts within your niche. It gets far better results than just charging in guns blazing. I like the way you put it about comparing it to RL interactions.

  4. Katherine James

    I connect a lot with other bloggers via Social Media, namely Twitter and different freelance writers forums.

    However, most of my interaction is just for fun and general conversation. Just being social and a part of the blogging community.

    • Taylor

      Me too! It’s really fun to chit chat on social media and get to know people on a friend level with the same interests. I don’t have any blogging “real life” friends so it’s definitely valuable to have virtual ones.

    • Mai Bantog

      Same here! So far I haven’t used my social media accounts to promote something (there’s still nothing to promote haha). Right now, it’s all about commending people if I find their posts really insightful, and also for building hopefully lasting connections. 🙂

  5. Taylor

    I just recently started navigating the world of blogging professionally. Twitter is the absolute best way to connect with influential bloggers on a personal level and I’m fairly new to twitter. Not going to lie, I do a little happy dance if I get an RT or reply from a top blogger :-).

    I had to get over my shyness and fear of rejection before I started sending out simple “getting to know you” or “advice” type emails to bloggers I admire. I found that I get great advice AND offers to guest post without having to ask. It’s all about building relationships and not making people feel like you’re after something.

    • Carol Tice

      I think that’s such a better way to go – just ask a quick question or make a comment. Let the blogger start checking out your stuff on your own and ask YOU to guest. That’s how I got several of my key initial guest-post offers, including the one to post for Copyblogger.

  6. Samra Khan

    Carol, Thanks for a great post!

    Few months back, I got a chance to see the dirty tactics of link building that’s being used by some people for SEO, It had hit me so badly! I wasn’t able to see the blogging, guest blogging, social media and online writing like I used to do.

    For me writing is a jewel, a talent to be rejoiced and taken for high regard. But then, isn’t it here pulled down just to a sack of words stuffed with keywords? 😐
    This is where the mess comes!

    But yes, some bloggers are still out there who won’t let the true grounds of blogosphere be shaken! You’re one of them. 🙂
    I wish to be be one of those.

    It would be great if you will share your story that how you befriended the top blogs in your niche without infuriating them. 😀

    And Well, I think I can rebuild my hopes now. 🙂


    • Carol Tice

      As I mentioned above…writing great headlines got me noticed by most of the initial group of top bloggers who became my mentors. As I’ve often said, when you have a goal, you can write your way there. 😉

      I find most writers are very lazy about headlines — they don’t invest the time to make them stand out. And then they don’t attract top-flight people into their circle.

  7. Laura Laing

    This post could not have come at a better time! (I’m currently planning a virtual blog tour for my latest book, and now that I’ve scheduled guest posts with people I know, it’s time to reach out to folks I don’t know. Scary!)

    There are lots of times when I have no idea how I’m coming across to others in my requests for networking. I may feel genuine when I say something like, “I would love to offer your readers a new take on…” but it may come across as my not understanding that I’m the one getting the real benefit. Or I might try to soften the marketing-speak with a joke — which could be a total miss.

    Thanks for reminding me to genuinely connect with people in my field. That really is the only way to network effortlessly and in a non-confrontational way. Just because I’m reading these blog posts each and every day doesn’t mean that the writer knows me from Eve. Lordy, the internet makes me feel like I’m at a cocktail party, when in reality I’m still sitting on my couch, alone. 🙂

  8. Elke Feuer

    This blog made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that. I’m amazed by how many people like my Facebook page and then insist I like theirs back. Seriously?!

    Most of the bloggers I’ve connected with have been people I met through Facebook and LinkedIn groups. We clicked and formed a friendship that later blossomed into business opportunities on both end.

  9. Richard

    I have a website that operates independently from my freelance career – it isn’t a money-making website, more an aggregate of entertainment, politics and science that my writers and I find interesting.

    It’s not a big website, but I get more than my fair share of similar emails to what you describe here, namely “can you publish an article for my client? It’s about dentistry” (like my site has a dentistry section…) or asking to host some infographic, unpaid advert or whatever.

    I’ve agreed a couple of times, when the content was a genuine fit, but not just because I was asked. The last thing any of us wants to do is alienate readers.

    I suppose all these people are just trying to be seen in a very crowded space, so I totally understand. But without a doubt, take a little time and talk to the people first. I recently had an article tweeted by John Soares – I didn’t (and wouldn’t) ask him to RT it, but I had quoted both him and Chuck Wendig in the article, so included their Twitter handles in my own tweet about it. John kindly RT’d it, Chuck didn’t. I had no disappointment with Chuck, and I took the time to thank John – it was a kind gesture on his part, and I doubt he remembers talking to me years ago.

    In my experience, on both sides, nothing makes someone shut down quicker than thinking someone is only talking to them for their gain.

    • Carol Tice

      I wish there was a magic ‘automatic delete’ for all those emails you get along the lines of “I am a longtime reader of your blog and wish to submit this article your audience will love, about applying for college” or whatever other totally unrelated topic they’re flogging.

      • Richard

        Haha, me too! At least I have Akismet enabled on my site, because I’m *always* getting comments like “I love your informative site, I will bookmark” yadda yadda, while their email address is “BuyDisProductNowDiscountForU69xoxo@weirdemail.po”

        I get similar, but not quite so bad, sent on Twitter too. Infuriating.

  10. Tom Bentley

    “But hey, thanks for being nosy! I totally want to hang out with you now.”

    Carol, the entire post is chockablock with good advice, but that line made me laugh out loud. It is remarkable that the common-sense notions of courtesy and respect can go out the window when it comes to electronic communications. And it’s nutzoid when people ask you to go out of their way to help them, yet couch it in a way where they indicate they’re doing you a favor. Yikes!

  11. Erica

    It’s amazing how rude some people can be, isn’t it? The best way I’ve found to connect with other bloggers is to comment on their blogs, share their posts and (here’s the key) not expect anything back.

    Be genuine. Be helpful. Be positive. Be willing to be yourself a little and not just project the professional mask that so many people think is the only way to be taken seriously.

    Be a person, not just a business. And treat other people like they’re people, too.

    • Carol Tice

      The big thing I learned from Chris Brogan is that about 1/4 of your social media posts should just be socializing. Something about your life. Because those are the ones that get the engagement — get people talking and forming connections.

  12. Heckety

    Reading this I was becoming more and more mad, as in the ‘honestly! people!’ sort of mad and then I got to your line:

    ‘But hey, thanks for being nosy! I totally want to hang out with you now.’

    …which, apart from making me laugh, just about sums up the attitude needed to cope with the pure rudeness of people. Well, some people.

    I think the best criteria to use is the one you mention that if one would not do something in the real world, then its probably not alright to do it in the cyber world. Anyhow I try to follow that.

    • D Kendra Franceso

      Netiquette and Etiquette are two life-forms that are vanishing fast.

  13. Raspal Seni

    Hi Carol,

    Talking about tiny fonts, which font do you use here? I use Verdana 14 pt, but to some, it seems too big.

    Thank you for giving an option to select the post in CommentLuv, we want to share. That’s surely true love! Hardly anyone else I’ve seen gives that option.

    Hope to catch you live on the webinar!

  14. Michael Feeley

    Thanks for a great post Carol.You make it clear how selfish and rude some people can be when they only think about themselves.

    Connecting with people is an organic, natural thing because you want to…you want to express your thanks because you like their writing and Blog and simply want to tell them.

    If a relationship grows out of that, great. I love to build relationships. And, it mostly happens because the other person is a giver, like you. You constantly give out a bounty of experience and ideas and solutions and suggestions to help other people.
    That’s powerful, generous and so attractive.

    Thanks for all you do. It’s much appreciated by me and many, many others.

    This was a really good post!

  15. Rohi Shetty

    Hi Carol,

    These are my favorite lines in this post:

    “But hey, thanks for being nosy! I totally want to hang out with you now.”

    “…if we get to the end of this whole rainbow, maybe share it.”

    “Big thing to know about successful bloggers — we are busy at a level the rest of the world probably can’t even imagine.

    Like, wish I had more time to do fun things like pee or wash my hair kind of busy.”

    Thanks for making my day.

    Btw, after reading your post, I’m glad I’m an introvert.

    • Carol Tice

      We do aim to educate AND amuse, Rohi. 😉

  16. Mai Bantog

    What a funny article. I can’t believe that’s how it works for you established bloggers. I have a blog that I’m still working on, but I never dreamed of doing those things that you mentioned above once I start marketing my blog.

    Ultimately, it’s all about building connections first so that you don’t come off as a rude stranger. Maybe those bloggers did not really intend to look demanding, but I guess we’ll never know. They blew their chances already. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me, that’s for sure.

    Thanks for this fun and informative post, Carol. It’s really a big help for noobs like me. 🙂

  17. Susan Johnston

    Amen, Carol! I got an email recently with the subject line “write for us.” Based on this subject line, I’d hoped that this email was about a potential (paying) freelance project. But when I opened the email it felt like a total bait and switch because the sender was actually offering to write a (completely off-topic) guest post for my blog. I didn’t even bother to respond after that.

  18. Terri

    I’m not even on your level yet and I get people asking for favors. However, sometimes the naivety is a bit endearing. I once had a doctor I’ve never met call me to ask if I could write an article about him for a magazine. I told him that it doesn’t work that way and he couldn’t understand why because he read an article I’d written about another doctor in a national publication.

    While I was annoyed by his request for this favor at first, I couldn’t help but smile at his optimism and naivety. I ended up explaining to him that you never just call a writer and ask them to write an article for about them for a major publication. I then explained that usually a writer reaches out them via reading a press release or noticing something notable that you did, etc.

    • Carol Tice

      Yeah, I get that ask constantly. Lots of folks out there who don’t know how journalism works.

  19. Danyelle C. Overbo

    Great post! This all comes back to proper sales etiquette. These people are trying to take shortcuts around the right way to do things, namely researching and relationship building. Love the examples you provide, Carol, they are fun to read and your reactions are hilarious. It probably shouldn’t be that surprising that many people take the lazy approach and toss requests out into the void hoping something sticks, but it still does surprise me. Especially the tweet where they tell you that you what you should do for them. Crazy! We should all take heart from this, though. It means that the select few who don’t take shortcuts and do things the right way have a good shot at succeeding.

  20. Angie

    Ooh, I’ve got a good one for you!

    A few weeks ago, someone sent me an email, asking me to share their infographic with my TranquiliGeek blog readers. I clicked through…and it was MY infographic. One I’d posted a few months before. It still had my logo on top. O.o

    It never ceases to amaze me how bold and/or rude people can be online. I would never dream of asking someone, out of the blue, to share my posts or answer my questions. I just don’t understand why they think it’s reasonable to expect a perfect stranger to do those things.

    • Carol Tice

      ROTFL !!

      I get a lot of those ‘share my infographic’ ones too, and can’t think of the last time I actually wanted to share it when I looked it over. But I don’t create any, so I haven’t had THAT particular problem!

  21. Lee

    Loved this post! So much of this is true, over and over again. I don’t blog consistently and yet see people who also don’t post on a regular basis scream bloody murder when you don’t repost their sites. Freelancing is hard enough without all this extra and unnecessary stuff to wade through. Keep up the good work.

    • Carol Tice

      Yeah, I knew one writer who told me she retweeted someone’s stuff, and then that person didn’t retweet hers…so now she doesn’t like them anymore. Don’t be like this, people. NOT how social media works.

  22. D Kendra Francesco

    I’m so glad to know that I don’t “have to” acknowledge the random “so and so is now following you on Twitter.” When I see the name of the group or person, I often wonder how I can delete them. I don’t want a bunch of ads!

    I’m not big yet, which is a good thing so far. It’s given me the time to figure out what I want to do. Perversely, I can’t wait to get my first out-of-the-blue ask. Then I’ll know I’ve arrived.

    • Carol Tice

      I have those notices turned off. 😉

      Kendra, there are all kinds of online tools that allow you to quickly review and delete people you’re following on Twitter. Forgetting which one I used, but think it was tweepi? There’s a bunch of those, where they analyze them by how much of a blowhard they are (constantly only posting their own links), how inactive, etc. and then you can kill groups of them en masse.

      • D Kendra Franceso

        Wow, thanks! I didn’t know I could make others’ tweets disappear, or make them unfollow me. Heck, I didn’t even know I could block any particular tweeter!

        I went to my Twitter account to look it over. I noticed one thing right away. I have two less followers than I did three days ago. Maybe someone didn’t like that I didn’t follow them back and unfollowed me on their own. Hee hee, hope that’s it!

        • Carol Tice

          People unfollow all the time…sort of a normal part of social media. Pay no attention…unless it seems like a trend.

    • Katherine Swarts

      Second the part about being glad not to feel obligated to “return the favor” with every stranger who follows you–particularly since “following” doesn’t necessarily equal “reading” or even “subscribing.” In my newbie days, I too “followed” everyone who looked remotely interesting and then never gave most of them another thought.

      I also have the “almost wish I was getting enough attention to have someone pestering me like that” issue. Carol, how about a post or two on writing items that invite comments and generate discussions–not necessarily reaching the “viral” stage, but motivating someone to say a bit more than “great post”?

      Incidentally, my own latest blog post, “Give to Gain,” gives mention to the truth that “givers receive, but you aren’t really a giver if you give TO receive.” Even if what you give is free of obvious self-interest, a major corollary to the Law of Attraction is that selfish motives poison all good vibrations.

      • Carol Tice

        That’s true, Katherine…but just want to say, we can’t really tell much about what that post is about from that short headline. Consider writing more descriptive headlines that are longer, and show the benefit and who the reader is, and you can probably draw more commenters.

        When you write something that’s sort of self-evident, you don’t leave more for commenters to say back. I think we all know self-interested giving is problematic. What can I leave as a comment?

        Consider asking a question of readers or throwing out an issue and rather than concluding something, saying, “What do you think?”

        As it happens, more tips are coming Sunday on how to get more comments — that’s my exact topic. So stay tuned!

  23. Lauren Tharp

    Wonderful post, Carol! I wrote a post similar to this — “How NOT to Treat a Fellow Freelance Writer” — a few weeks ago, and I think this is a FANTASTIC compliment to it. I think the more of us talk about this issue (especially authority figures like you!) the quicker the bad behavior will stop.

    I’m definitely going to be sharing this one! Thank you so much for writing it.

  24. Peter D. Mallett

    Wow, I read this post dumfounded (I did laugh at some the places that others mentioned). I wondered where do these people come from? Were they taught no manners? Have they never worked any job with a chain of command or done any work in which some customer service skills were required?

    Being a giver first results in receiving naturally. Skipping the process and trying to get first just annoys everybody (including the person doing it because it doesn’t work out for them). Thanks for being such a giver with the 600+ posts that you mentioned.
    I appreciate it!

  25. Shelley J. Beeby

    Hi Carol,

    You really nailed it with this post. I’m still in the process of setting up a blog, and I’m fairly new to Twitter and social media. I guess I’m shy, but if there’s one thing I don’t like to do, it’s bug people.

    Because guest blogging is getting so much recognition for the success it yields, I kind of feel that some people are going out of their way to get the latest guru’s attention to launch their own careers rather than establish genuine relationships. I’ve seen the reverse, too: the self-proclaimed marketing experts who pose as friends and are all about making money off their new “friends,” but as soon as the newbies don’t have any money to pay the masters, the “friendships” end immediately. Maybe I’m paranoid, but that’s what it looks like.

    • Carol Tice

      You know, I haven’t had that experience with my mentors, happy to say. I’ve had mentors offer to keep me in their programs free, too, because we’ve become friends. Hopefully you’ll be able to check out one of my most wonderful mentors Wednesday — Mary Jaksch (check out the sidebar right now for a link to our event). I just feel happy to know her, and I’ve learned SO much from her. Super-giving person.

  26. Annette Gilbert

    Great post! I generally enjoy these “what NOT to do” articles the most simply because it makes me feel superior. 😉 As others have noted, it’s rather amazing that common courtesy and common sense don’t act as a filter. This is unrelated but exhibits the same behavior. I’ll often give things away on craigslist because I don’t want to bother selling things. You would not believe how many people email and ask me to hold the item–a FREE item–for them for a month, OR deliver it to them (in my own car!). These are perfect strangers. So I’m not surprised at all that people would contact you and make absurd, rudely worded, demands.

    • Carol Tice

      Doesn’t surprise me. As I’m always telling students in my 1 on 1 mentoring program…there are plenty of boundary pushers out there. Some folks, no matter how much you give, they always want more. So It’s up to you to create and enforce the parameters for your business.

  27. Joe Kovacs

    One of the most insightful points you made (of this extremely insightful post), Carol, is that you wouldn’t ask a stranger at an in-person networking event to do a random favor, would you? So why would you reach out to bloggers you don’t know to extend the same favor? David Sterry has written about how the online world is really just a reflection of the in-person world of human relationship-building and maintenance, and needs to be handled similarly: with respect, courtesy and patience. Of course the tools are different in the online world, but still…the same rules apply. I think it’s too bad when bloggers and others who have a strong online presence are approached rudely. I’m a new blogger trying to learn how to navigate the world of online relationships, so I’m trying to spend more time reading about what to do and what not to do, rather than aggressively bombarding people with messages that may or may not have value. Certainly, I’m at the point where I don’t want to “put my foot in it”, so your point about inappropriate requests for assistance from newbies is well-taken. Thanks for this great post. Joe

    • Carol Tice

      Hi Joe – glad you enjoyed!

      The final, sad thing about all of these bungles is that…bloggers ARE people and would love to grow their network and make new friends! Blogging is a solitary, lonely endeavor and we’re all here on earth to connect with other people.

      And by being a pushy jerk, you’ve killed your chance to become friends with that blogger — real friends. The kind that have breakfast together at conferences and hang out, like I do with a lot of my mentors, or get on Skype chats and just have a laugh while you both eat lunch. Make THAT your priority — just connecting and forming friendships — and you’ll find yourself with guest post opportunities, thought leaders retweeting your stuff…everything you want will be a byproduct of that.

  28. christian

    hello this is my first time reading your blog and this article and i like it. I can’t believe people actually this nosey to ask you how much you make……i would commit suicide if it happened to me hahaha. By the way do you know a place where new bloggers unite like a form or FB group….i’ve just launched my new blog and i have one article already posted (ill be posting more). My blog is about sharing my experiences with others and for me to meet and see other people thoughts and experiences…..can you give me advice on coming out with topic for my new audience??

    i would heavily appreciate that.


  29. Kim Hamlin

    I was physically blushing while reading this article, Carol. So embarrassed for these people you described. It’s no wonder that freelancers have a hard time marketing themselves, if there are many like this. If they don’t value other writers’ time, they will never value their own.

    To me, it’s the same thing as asking a dentist to check your teeth when you run into them at Kroger. Writers are professionals and deserve to be paid for their time, their thoughts, their advice…I don’t have close relationships with any “top bloggers”, but I have been fortunate enough to be listening, reading, getting free podcasts, taking classes from some of the best, including you and Linda, and I have found you both and many others to be extremely generous with your talent, shame on those people you described!


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